Will this be it??

Had my last ultrasound/blood work done for this cycle this morning. My levels look good, and I have measuring follicles that are relatively large. With that being said, I will be taking my trigger shot tonight, and then going for the IUI on Saturday morning. I am feeling 200 kinds of feelings all at once. I hope that this will be it. I am scheduled to take my blood pregnancy test on the 28th... I really hope this is it!! Imagine a beautiful little baby born in October right before our FOURTH wedding anniversary!!!! That would be the greatest gift, ever!

A letter to my unborn

Dear Baby,
Words escape me, yet flood me when I think about what I want to say to you. All my life I have wanted to be a mother. I wanted to raise a child of my own, so that I could instill in them a lifetime of values and lessons I learned from the people that shaped me. Having met the wonderful man I chose to spend my life with so easily, I never imagined that we would struggle so much to create life from the love we share. The one common goal your daddy and I share is the goal of wanting you more than anything in this world. We have tried so hard to create you naturally, and now we seek help from doctors to help create you. Let me just say, you are one wanted baby, baby!! We were so close last month, but it didn't work, so here we are again trying to create you. Please know that we want you to grow strong, healthy, and big. I promise you while I carry you that I will take care of myself and you. I am waiting for you, your daddy is waiting for you....we are waiting for you to make our family complete...please come next month....xoxo

First blood work and ultrasound for round 2

Well...here we go again.. Back on the saddle, as they say. I started my shots again on Wednesday, but this time around it is going to be 150IU, rather than the 75IU I started with. I went for my first ultra-sound today, but there are no follicle that are measurable right now. But, my estrogen is 106!!! That is great for me!! So, I will continue with the shots tonight and tomorrow, and then I will for the blood work and ultrasound on Tuesday. The lady who took my blood today killed me! I was poked 3 times in the hopes of getting my vein, but the other lady had to come and give it a try..Note to self, drink more water!
Let's see what happens on Tuesday.

A day later

Well, it has been 24 hours since I found out that the IUI didn't take. I am actually doing a lot better than I expected, but it is still a painful situation to endure. I had therapy today and boy and I'm glad I this appointment. I really needed to get it all off my chest, so I can start fresh....tomorrow...Tomorrow we will start with 150mg shots and then on Sunday I will get the old ultrasound and blood work to check my levels.....fingers crossed this takes this time.

As I assumed....

Well, given all that this weekend provided, I still had to go and get my blood drawn today. I went at 9 am and was in and out. I went home to wait for the dreaded phone call. My hubby convinced me to tear down the tree and put decorations away. While doing so, the phone rang. I answered the phone and I could tell by the tone in her voice that the answer would be negative. All I remember is , " Hi, this is so and so from such and such and I wish I was calling with better news, but___________." At that point I started to sob and couldn't catch my breath. Hearing negative is like a punch in the guts....Contrary to what my hubby would say, I handled it better. I just went in to our bedroom got in to bed and cried my eyes out. Actually to the point where I couldn't breathe and felt like I was going to puke ( I haven't cried that hard in about a year). My hubby didn't really know what to do and we didn't really talk for about an hour after the news broke. I called my mom, his mom, and texted my close friends. Some have been very supportive, while others seemed like I interrupted their day. To boot, I then found out that I girl I used to work with was pregnant today...keep kicking me while I'm down people. I actually surprised myself with all the things I didn't do today.....So I guess now we have to decide what we want to do next....I know they say ,"god doesn't give you more than you can handle...but I just wish he didn't trust me as much."

What could this mean.....

Well, I am 10 days post IUI, and of course today would be the day I would spot. I am a nervous wreck right now, and I keep praying it is implantation bleeding. It is so hard to remain positive when all I want to do is cry and believe that this is never going to happen. Luckily enough, my hubby has been very supportive today, but I still can't help but to feel hopeless. Dear god, please make this just be some implantation bleeding!!

2 week wait is like the 2 week slow death

Well, we did it! We agreed as a couple in November to begin treatment once I started my next cycle. My cycle came and went, and so the shots began. I gave myself (with the help of my amazing hubby) 9 rounds of Gonal F shots, and then 1 trigger shot. Once the trigger shot was given, I would then be signed up for my IUI. I had my IUI on December 19, 2011, and it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. It hardly hurt, it took no time at all, and it was the quickest thing I have ever had done. Once the IUI was over I was told that I would have to wait 2 weeks, and then come back for blood work that would either confirm a negative or positive result. Well, I am in to day 7 and I am going out of my mind. I took a urine test this morning and it yielded a negative result. Everyone I told is telling me that it is too early to know, but I really hope they are right. I am really hoping that this is our time after all this time. Waiting for the 2 weeks to be up is like dying a slow death. You don't know what the result is going to be, and it feels like it is moving at a slow rate. I am continuing to remain positive,and keep my spirits up!! Here's hoping!!